![]() ![]() I left out the fact that I didn't know how to spell or that I had been giving blowjobs since I was thirteen. When I finally escaped, I presented myself to advertising agencies as a self-educated, slightly eccentric youth, filled with passion, bursting with ideas. I then lived a life of squalor, pedophiles, no school and free pills. When I was thirteen, my crazy mother gave me away to her lunatic psychiatrist, who adopted me. Few people know how to do that as well as I do, because I've been applying those basic advertising principles to my life for years. It's an industry based on giving people false expectations. And that's why it's such a perfect career for me. ![]() Approachable and yet aspirational.Īdvertising makes everything seem better than it actually is. I had to give it an image that was both beautiful and sexy. But somehow, I had to make people feel that it was the best hair conditioner ever created. It made your hair smell like a combination of bubble gum and Lysol. It made your hair sticky and in focus groups, women hated it. But the thing is, this was a lousy product. ![]() The strategy was: Adds softness you can feel, body you can see. Like once, I had to do an ad for hair conditioner. ![]() Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quality of life. ![]()
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